pain doesn't hurt life does
by starlightdreamer052000
Summary: Hermione feeling low can anyone stop her harming herself. Not for younger reads.
1. snape find out

I don't own Harry Potter and this fic is not hbp compliant. There are also some serious issues in this fic so please don't read if your under 13.

The knife glistened in the hand. Once again she was sat on her bed staring at the knife. Her roommate unware of her struggles as they where all asleep. Dreaming of happy thing like boys and love and what they would to their wedding. None knew that she was in pain. Every one knew she was a loner but no one questioned why. No one ask why she stopped talking to her best friend's why she withdrew from normal society. In class she still new all the answers, but only raise her hand when ask. People wondered of course but the transaction happened so slowly first of all she spend a hour or more in the library and missed the occasional quddicth match. Nobody thought this odd as she had always love knowledge and learning it was part of who she was. The knife grazed her skin just enough to make her leg bleed. This allowed her a moment of release know body knew she done this of course. It was just her way of releasing pain. She told herself that this would be the last time and that she could stop. She would never cut deep someone might find out. Hermione placed the knife back in her draw and lay down thinking at least know she could get some sleep.

The next morning the Hogwarts ground was quiet mist rolled around the castle as the entire school was sleeping soundly. I should say most of the school was sleeping soundly Hermione awoke around four in the morning no longer able to sleep she put on her sweat's and decided to go for a morning run. As it was only half five she knew she had plenty of time before anyone would be up so nobody would notice if she was gone.

After about half hour of running around the lake Hermione decide she would take a slight detour of the forest. Although the forbidden forest contains many evil creature Hermione knew where there was safe to go and where was not. As a friend of Harry potter, who could not? After another half hour of running her muscles where seizing up, her arms where cold as there was so much frost in the forest and the air was bitter cold Hermione decided to stop. Hermione took a look around at her surround and noticed she had gone to far into the wood. Looking around quickly she turned to make her way out of the forest. Suddenly her stomach gave a loud grumble as she realized she hadn't eaten since yesterday's lunch and she had been running for over an hour. Reside to this fate Hermione started to walk until she tripped. The fall wasn't that bad but as she fell, the cut she made the night before reopen she cursed as she was wearing light blue trousers. The blood was pouring down her leg and could clearly be seen through trousers. Hermione had left her wand back in the common room, and so could not vanish the stains until she was back in the common room. she just hoped nobody would see her before she got there. Unfortunately luck was not on her side.

"Miss Granger what do you think you are doing out in the forest at this time in the morning. Fifty points from Gryffindor." Severus Snape emerged from the entrance hall of Hogwarts looking more irritated then usual. Hermione turned her face from the potions professor. "Sorry sir I ahh." Severus head snapped up as Hermione fell forward. In one swift motion Severus caught Hermione it was then that he noticed the blood on her legs. Quickly he place her on the floor so he could retrieve his wand and examine what was wrong with Miss Granger. As soon as a light red light was showed over her wound Severus pick her up and whispered something to the closest picture and entered a room. The room was a large spacious room with a wall covered by a book shelves and on another side a large fire. What caught Hermione eye however was a large plasma tv covered in a light crystal film. Severus placed Hermione on a large black couch. Severus quickly reach for a vial of the shelf above the fire. "Drink this miss granger it will easy the pain." Not knowing what else to do Hermione carefully took the bottle from Severus hand and drunk the dink. Hermione was shaking. Being in the room with Severus snape was not what any student wanted to be. Hermione was to busy wondering what severus would say that she didn't hear him begin.

"Miss granger. I know I am not the easiest man to talk to but I feel that you do need to talk to someone." Oh god he know was all she was thinking however she very shakily managed to reply. " I'm sorry sir I do not know what you are talking about. I fell over and manage to catch my leg it was stupid of me but in truly didn't mean it. Severus than kneeled down so he was facing Hermione he gently placed a hand under her chin so she was looking him in the eye. "Please don't do this to yourself Hermione." His voice was nothing like he used in class. It was soft and calming his eyes stared into her and for the first time in her life Hermione granger saw severus snape. His eyes were pleading to her to open up to him. His dark eyes were glistening with understanding, Pain hurt and fear. She couldn't place the fear but knew he was scared. "I'm sorry." She whispered softly and burst into tear not the type of tears that you cry normally the heart breaking tears when you can't cope any more her body was shaking and the tears was gliding down her face unable to control them. Severus embraced her as she cried and whispered soothing word into her ear. Soon Hermione fell asleep in Severus arms.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all the great reviews. Sorry my English sucks.**

**Hermione awoke later to find herself in a comfortable bed. There was a soft humming in coming from the room next door but Hermione couldn't get the energy to move, the room was comfortable. Hermione lay in a large four poster bed looking around the room. There was a large chest table with a laptop stood on it and there was a huge wardrobe, apart from that the room was mina mist. Hermione wanted to get out of bed that her throat was hurting and a soft rumble let her know she needed some food.**

**Severus sat in his room contemplating what he was going to do. Before today the he still put Hermione in the nothing but a goody to shoes category in his mind. However when he saw her earlier he noticed something he hadn't seen in years something deeper. Now Hermione was getting into his thoughts. As he flicked through the tv channels severus hear a noise coming from his bedroom. "Sir what are you going to do." His eyes glanced toward the door as Hermione stood in the doorway looking scared and young. However he noticed something in her eyes, fear, pain and loss.**

**Hermione stood in the door way at a loss of what to do or say. Her body was shivering and then Hermione stared to cough. The cough was a harsh cough that made her hang onto the door frame. Severus quickly went over to her and hold her until she stopped. "Better." His voice was soft and smooth holding none of the menace it held in the classroom. Gently Severus picked Hermione up and placed her on the couch. "Lye still miss granger. Your morning run has caused you to have a high fever no doubt because of the lack of nutrients in your system." Severus voice was smoothing Hermione until he said he went onto the next topic. **

"**However Miss granger there is something much more concerning." Hermione quickly glanced towards the tv. "Please talk to me Miss Granger.' Hermione was still glancing at the tv. Tears were welling up in her eyes. She wanted to scream at severus to go away wanted to tell he to leave her alone. However Hermione just lay on the couch tears filling her eyes. "Please sir I can't." Severus seemed to relax. "ok. How about I get you some food." Hermione look grateful to severus. As he stood to go Hermione said. "Thanks sir." "Your welcome miss granger."**

**Severus returned later with a tray. containing a large bowl of soup, a glass of pumpkin juice, and a vial of cold draught. "Here miss granger take your time and then I think it would be best if you went back to bed." Hermione took the food gratefully. "Um sir what am I going to say to the people where I've been all day." Severus looked at Hermione. "It would be best if you stayed her for a while miss granger I have spoken to the headmaster and he agrees that until you are better that you remain under my care. "You bastard." The soup fell onto the floor as Hermione hurled herself at Severus. She stared hitting him until once again her body racked with coughs. "I told the headmaster you had become unwell and it would be best if I was to care for you miss granger. I said nothing about your cutting." Hermione was now to daze to feel anything. Carefully Severus picked Hermione up and placed her on his bed "here drink this miss Granger." Severus gave Hermione the cold draught and once again she was asleep.**

**Severus stood watching Hermione until he was sure he was comfortable. His thoughts was confused who was this girl in front of him and why did he care so much. As Hermione started to turn in her sleep severus placed a chair next to the bed. Maybe he would watch over her just for the night. However soon he had fallen asleep to.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for all the wonderful reviews you guys rock. **

**Again sorry about my English.**

**Hermione awoke about 3 in the morning as she turned over she noticed that Snape was asleep on a chair. His face was smooth and his hair was not as greasy as it normally looked. Hermione carefully got out of bed and went to the bathroom as she walked in she noticed a razor blade on the side. The blade was shining on the side of the bath and Hermione stood frozen. All she could think was just to cut. Snape was asleep she just needed to cut one little cut wouldn't hurt. **

**Severus awoke and had a crick in his neck as he looked around and noticed Hermione had gone, fear gripped at him. Quickly he noticed a light in her bathroom. Before he could do anything else he heard a crash from the bathroom. "Shit." Severus ran to the bathroom.**

**Hermione was on the floor rocking back and forth mumbling incoherently. Severus looked around the room and noticed his mirror was smashed and the razor in his bath. Carefully he knelt beside Hermione and she leaned into him he held her as she rocked. "it ok you did the right thing." Severus wisp heard into her ear. "it's ok your going to be ok." Severus picked Hermione up and placed her on his bed. Once Hermione calm down she looked Severus in the eyes.**

"**Im sorry sir I don't know what's come over me." Severus looked at Hermione tears where in her eyes. "I just needed to. I just well." Severus listened as Hermione tried to say what she was feeling. Then he talked so quietly Hermione didn't notice he had stared talking at first. "Harming yourself is not the way miss granger. The pain doesn't hurt after a while it feel numb just like nothing. Please don't go through this alone. I know I am not a good man but please don't go through this alone." Hermione just cried harder. If Severus was his usual evil self she would have been able to cope but this was not the severus snape she though she knew. "I know I am not a nice man and I admit that this is my own doing. But you don't need to take this road. Not letting people in is something that once started you can't go back to are forever trapped in your own mind. One day you wake up and go to far." "Sir I just do it to release pain. I don't mean to go. I mean I would never." Severus looked at Hermione. "Life is what causes pain miss granger and the amount of death you have seen you should know." With that said Severus swept out of the room. Leaving one very confused Hermione sitting on the bed. **

**Severus went into his living room and picked a bottle of jack daniels of the shelf and began to drink he sat on the couch and stared into the fire. A single tear crawling down his cheek. Hermione crawled into a ball and began to wonder about the man that is Severus snape.**

**Sorry it so short please read and review**


	4. morning

Thank you all for such amazing reviews. Really really appreciated.

Again don't own harry potter so don't sue.

Happy Christmas

Hermione woke the next morning and noticed Severus had gone. There was a noise coming from the living room and so she assumed the must be in there. Unable to deciedde if she was ready to face him Hermione lay in the bed wondering what had gone so wrong. She was used to cutting she had been doing it for over a year, she had never gone to deep before and why did he have to find out.

Severus was in the living room drinking coffee. He had the television on because unlike what most people think of severus he dislikes quiet. He only requires it in his classes because if people are not paying attention disasters can happen. As he put his coffee on the table he began to wonder on what he could do next. Although he would never admit it to anyone he cared for the little Griffindor. The fact that she cut herself in his room scared him. If she wasn't worried he would find her she needed help. Severus knew if he told anyone she would never forgive him. There was also a small part of severus that would never be able to forgive himself, so he had to decide what he was going to do. As he moved his leg he knocked his coffee over.

Hermione heard a crash from the living room. Without another though she ran in afraid something had happened. After living under the treat of Voldermort the slightest thing often made Hermione afraid. Granted not without good reason she remembered her last Christmas with her parents. As usual she had her head in a book in the living room. while her parents was in the kitchen making the diner. Hermione heard a crash in the kitchen but though noting of it until she found she felt fear as she looked up from her book she was surrounded by hundreds of death eaters. Without a though she touched her book mark as was teleported back to Hogwarts. She had never thanked Dumbledore for that emergence portkley as she always felt guilty that she should of done something more. Pulling her self from her thoughts she couldn't help but laugh at the sight before her.

Severus snape potions master of Hogwart grease git extordinare was in his living room. Jumping up and down trying to stop the burning. As he spilt coffee all over himself. Hermione also couldn't help but notice that he was not wearing his normal robes but instead muggle jeans and tshirt. Her mind though how come she never noticed his muscles before? "Would you stop staring miss granger and give me a hand." Then she though there's the old snape. "Cleanso." With one wave of her wand the coffee was gone.

Severus fell back onto the couch and mumbles something about how he could have done that. Hermione however stood in the doorway. "please take a seat miss granger I think we have somethings to discuss. " Carefully hermione sat down on the seat waiting for Severus to say something. "I am not going to pressure you into telling me anything. I will not tell you what your doing is wrong tell anyone else if you don't want me to. However I do need you to come to me if you are feeling down." Severus voice was low and smooth his words was soft and held no menacing under threat that it often held in class. Severus's eyes where staring at hermione begging to be let in. " I also know that I can't hold you here captive." Though his mind was telling him that this would be a great idea. "I would like you to trust me miss Granger."

For a long time Hermione said nothing. " Thank you sir. I understand that as I am your student you feel it best to look out for my welfare. I would also like to say I have always trusted you. Even when you where mean in class and when you where dressed as a death eater kneeling before Voldermort. Even when in I was in hospital and you was set as my guard. However you can do noting to help me. Also I know that you would tell nobody about what I do because if you did I would never forgive you." And with that Hermione walked out of snapes room.

Well what did you think read and review.


	5. when one thing goes right one thing goes

To all everyone who reviewed you're the greatest.

Don't own harry potter. And if you don't know who does do you live on this planet.

Once Hermione left Severus room she ran for gryfindor tower. All she could think was he knew. He knew she hurt her self he knew she cried he knew she wasn't what everybody though she was. He knew she wasn't perfect. Hermione ran though the fat lady only to bump into Ginny. The youngest Weasley was no longer the young shy girl everyone used to think. She was no longer the over looked child in fact when Ginny walked into a room most eye fell on her. Most men was attracted to her as her long hair always stayed straight she had curves most girls would kill for and she still had the innocence and kindness she had always possessed.

"Hey Herm you ok. Dumbledore told us you were ill but when we went down to see you Madame Pomfrey said you weren't to be disturbed." The look of concern on Ginnys face made Hermione want to blurt out everything, however there was still apart of Hermione wanting just to die. "I just had a fever and Pomfrey said I was stressing myself out nothing much." Ginny looked dubious but left it at that. "Well how about we do something for today just the two of us." "well I don't know Ginny I've got a lot of studding to do and." Ginny quickly cut hermione of. "come on herms please I haven't had a conversation with you in weeks and when we have finish finished newts (All Hermione year was re sitting as the newts weren't held the year before due to voldermort and his demise.) Who knows when I'll get the chance to see you." Ginny stared pulling a puppy dog face and Hermione caved. "Maybe I do need a break."

The day past quickly for Hermione, she had forgotten all about the night before and was laughing at the antics Draco was using on Ginny. Ginny and draco had been dating since voldermort fell where Draco promptly told the entire school that him and Ginny had been dating for over a year and had been engaged almost as long. Hermione bought a new muggle book called Percy Jackson and the Olympians Lightning thief. Ginny brought fantasy make up saying something about draco like it when she pretends she's a muggle actress. They went the three broomsticks for a drink then shopped some more. By the time dinner had came around the girls where chatting the way they used to.

Hermione was glad when severus wasn't at dinner at least then she wouldn't have to see him. Once the meal was under way Hermione felt the alone all day she had felt like she used to. She had been busy and happy but now she was with drawing into herself again and now it felt worse. All she could think was why couldn't she be normal why does couldn't she just be happy.

By the time the feast was over Hermione was thoughly depressed. Quickly leaving the feast as Ginny was to busy making out with Draco and harry was in a conversation about quddicth hermione walked out of the hall and up to the Gryfindor tower.

Severus was stunned as Hermione left never in all his years had a student acted like that In front of him. He knew she had with drawn from her friend but the way she had acted over the last few days mad ehim really worry about hermione. He would never allow anybody go down that path while he could stop it no one. After spending the day cursing Hermione and wishing he could just shut he r up until he could show her there was something to live for but knew it would be know good. As he continued to think he heard a knock at the door as Dumbledore walked in. Severus scowled and Dumbledore twinkled. "Good to see you to severus." "Cut it out Albus and get to the point" "Why I don't know what you mean Severus. How about I call for some tea." Within seconds a tea tray was floating in front of them. "Know Severus as you know with having two year groups taking there Newts at once there is a larger need for mentors once they leave." Severus sighed " I am not taking on an a apprentice Albus. How many time." Albus seemed ready for this comment. "well I Guess I am no longer in need for you." Severus scowl grew. "I will look over the propsitions but f I see nobody fit then I will not take a apprentice." "Very well Severus so long as you have a valid reason for not taking on a Apprentice I will accept your decision. However there has to be avalid reason I will leave you this applications I wish to have your decision by the end of the week. With that Dumbledore left. After half an hour of Grumbling severus started to look at the applicant.

The applications went something like this

Dear professor I know you don't think I am any good at potions however I think by your guidance I would improve

N Longbottom

Severus quickly lit this application on fire muttering "Over my dead body."

Dearst Severus I would love you to teach me in more ways than one. Pansy parkison

Severus cringed then moved on.

Dear Professor snape you don't know me but I have heard many wondrous thing about you. I am currently studding in witch witch and cackle school in Australia. My potions grades are the highest in my year and I promise to be no inconvenient to you. I believe you once worked with my aunt whilst visting Melbourne her name is Proffessor hemry. I am currently trying to learn how to make the wollfbane potion and would be grateful to be tough by one of the most prestious potion master in the worls. Selma Starlight.

Severus looked at the letter it was promising but he really didn't want a apprentice till he turned to the next application.

Dear Professor

There are hundreds of reason why you would want me as an apprentice. So I will save you the time of thinking up some. I am one of Harrys best friend. I am Gryfindor I speak to much. I have infuriated you for years even case the odd curse. (Though you deseved it.) I have always prided myself on knowing the answer and helping other people which you think should be left to you. (Im talking about helping Neville before he explode a cauldron.) However I truly believe that you have much to teach and I would love to learn more. Though people don't notice you are amazing at your art and it is that reason I ask you to allow me to be your apprentice.

Yours Sincerely H Granger.

Severus smiled and could help but go over the letter. All his thoughs was maybe I can help her after all.

Hermione lay on her bed finishing of her book. Percy Jackson was an amazing charater and she wish she could be like annabeth however as soon as she finished the book she once again reach for the knife. Only this time she didn't pause to think about what she was doing.

Severus was still deciding on the best way to accept Hermione offer when a alarm was going off. There was only one alarm that sounded like that and it was when a student was dieing. Within moments Severus was running to the head girls room.

Well read and review. Also if you like harry potter read Percy Jackson by ric riodan its about a boy who has Adhd and Dyxselia and find out he half greek god and the greek god exist today. its amazing.


	6. oh

Thank you for all the amazing reviews. Again sorry about my English it really sucks.

Hermione placed the blade down once she heard the scream from the common room. As she run down the stairs she stop and looked at the scene before her. There was a large crowd around the table in middle of the room, everybody was silent. The only sound that could be heard was somebody saying no no no over and over again.

As Hermione drew closer her breathe court what seemed like a stream of blood was surrounding the table and Ginny was lieing in Harry's arms but he head was unnaturally Harry's arms her skin was blue and eyes where open, staring into space.

The gryfinddor common room was flung open as Severus ran in. Taking notice of his surrounding he quickly stopped. The Gryfindor common room went complete dead there was no sound as the professor walked up to Ginny silently he put a hand on harrys shoulder and took ginny in his arms, and walked into the fire place.

After Severus left the occupant started to cry well all bar Hermione who was just stood and stared at the scence before her. Before long the Gryffindor common room was opened up again by Professors Dumbledore, Mcgonnagal. Snape and a number of Ministry officals.

Professor Dumbledore the spoke to the Gryffindor common room. "You have all seen much death and sorrow over the last few years. This something that can not be heal easily and a accident today will be worse than some death you have seen through this is the worse you there is no one to blame and as such you have nobody to blame. The ministry officials are here should you feel the need to talk to someone about what you have seen or just a shoulder to cry on. It is not a sin to cry on what you have seen. I feel it best you all stay together until a time the rest of the school has beeninforme don what has happened."

Hermione could feel his eye on her as the rest of the teachers and ministry officals walked around talking to the gryffidor students. Harry was crying freely on Mcgonannal and Neville was holding paravit. Colin was sitting in the corner holding his brother dennis as if he was his life line. "Miss Granger are you ok." Forcing a half smile Hermione turned to Dumbledore and replied. "I'm fine headmaster, I just think I need some air." "I understand but I don't think wondering around hogwart will be such a good idea at the moment miss granger." Severus came up behind the two of them. "I will look after miss granger Headmaster." "very well Severus take care of her."

Severus and Hermione left the gryffindor common room and out by the lake without speaking to each other. Once at the lake the both stood staring at the lake finally severus spoke. "I was scared that it was you." Turning to look at him hermione whispered I wish it was.

R and R make me happy.

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	7. emotion playing a role

So sorry I haven't been able to update lately heres the next chapter.

Again don't own harry potter and my English sucks.

It had been a week since Ginny's death and the school was in mourning. It funny after the war there was some grieving but nothing like what was happening now. Classes where being interrupted as students felt the need to go and talk to someone to. There was guidance witches all over the school. Yet Hermione didn't see any of them. Hermione attendend every class though refused to look at severus or answer any question she simply got on with her work.

Late on the night before ginny's funeral Harry turned up at the library. Like Hermione Harry had not talked to anyone since the accident and so he was nervous of how to approach Hermione she was the last of his friends left. "Is it ok if we go for a walk." Hermione looked yup from the book she was reading and saw something she had been feeling for months the pain, despair, hurt, loninging and something else. The something which she had seen the last time she saw snape. Silently Hermione stood up and drew her coat around herself. "How about the lake." Harry sighed with relief. The walk was tense as nobody said anything . Once there Hermione sat down and harry sat by her. For the longest while booth just stared at the lake. "I don't want to feel like hi sany longer I've lost my family, ron and now ginny but there's a part of me feeling like I've lost you to.

Tear built up in Hermione eyes she wanted to hold harry and tell him that wasn't true. She wanted to tell him that she was still here for him but part of her new that it wasn't true that she had isolated herself from harry and all of her friend the only person who she had let in was Severus and she stil had no idea why she done that at first she put it down to a moment of madness but now she wasn't so sure. Finally she placed a hand on harrys shoulder and looked him in the eye. " I know wev'e both change since the war and nobody can bring them back. Im not the same girl I was Harry but I promise that if you ever need me I will try my hardest to help you. I you will always be my best friend even if where not as close as we once where." Harry hugged Hermione "Thank you he wispherd. I don't think I would be able to get through tomorrow without you." Once he said that he turned and walked up to the castle.

Hermione spent a good half hour trying to process her thought and when she still couldn't make sense of them she d got up and started walking allowing her feet to take her where ever . Soon she found herself chad come to a stop outside a portrait she couldn't remember ever seeind before yet some how she new she had. At that moment a door appeared and being curious she opened it. As she walked in she held her breath she was in Severus quarters. Just then Severus appeared. "Are you alright miss granger." His voice was soft and warm and his eyes held a mix of emotions that made Hermione just wanted to cry. Slowly he enveloped her in hug.

"I just need to get away im sorry I should have come I well im." Gently rubbing her back he whisphered that it was ok. " You are welcome her any time. If you feel like you need to get away from yourself or the outside world this door will always be open to you and should you need a ear I am available if you would preffer to read or watch tv help yourself." Severus quickly though what the hell is going on with me but Hermione just relaxed. "Thank you. Could I watch some tv the muggle world helps me relax." "Indeed." He passed Hermione the remote and quietly settled down in an arm chair allowing Hermione to have the sofa. Hermione flicked through the channels till she came across nip tuck. Severus snorted at the choice of tv he would never admit to it but he actually ejoyed the show himself. Some while later Hermione had fallen asleep on the sofa. He gently picked her up and placed her on his bed. Then he moved to the living room and settled down with a spare blanket he would be spending the night on the sofa.


	8. funeral

Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. sorry it took so long to update my life screwed at the moment. On the plus side I now have a car yeah.

The next morning Hermione awoke to the smell of coffee as she exited snape's bedroom she notice he was cooking. "You need your strength for today." He placed a fried breakfast in front of her and then left.

Later Hermione entered her room fearful of what was about to come. In half an hour she would be burying one of her closet friend. She would be burying part of her self. Resign to this fate she opened her wardrobe and picked out her deep red dress robes. Ginny never like wearing black to funerals. She remembered Ginny face a t Ron's funeral. She remembered how Ginny said. "Ron would want you to live not become like the bat of the dungeon." She laughed at the though of that. Severus was becoming the closet person to her and he was actually a lovely man.

A knock brought her from her memories and Harry stood at the door. He was looking completely lost. "Come in harry I'll just be a few minutes." Harry entered the room and stood nervously as Hermione went into the bathroom to get changed. "Im not sure I can do this herm." Harry said quietly as he sat on the couch. "I just can't loose anybody else." Harry was a complete mess by the time Hermione appeard again. She took him in her arms. Finally he stopped crying and gathered himself. " I guess we'd better go.

By the time Hermione and Harry had got to the funeral the place was packed there was a tent outside because there was not enough room inside. There was reports form the daily prophet. Almost all the aurous in fact half the ministry was present. Harry and Hermione made there way through the crowd to the front of the church. They after all where the people closet to Ginny.

The Funeral was a blur she vaguely remembered hearing lady in red playing and the minister saying some thing about how good a person Ginny was but all Hermione kept thinking was. It should have been me lying there. Soon the funeral was over and most people had gone on to the wake. Hermione was now looking at the new mound of earth that held her friend. "Why did it have to be her." She whisphered to the darkness.

Then a shadow came behind her. "Because it's always the good that die young."

Ok sorry its so short I promise to try and update with a proper length chapter next week. Don't forgret to review.


	9. Severus home

Sorry it took so long to update I've been sick.

Hermione turned round at the sound to the voice. Severus was standing by tree as "The rest of us have to live." "But I don't want to." "There have been so many people lost it would cause them harm for you to give your life freely." Severus strode over to Hermione hugged her. "I would like to show you something." Severus pulled out a old bag and as Hermione toched it she felt a pull on her navel. Soon she was standing in a open clearing looking at the biggest building she had ever seen.

There was a large castle with vast amounts of fields surrounding it . On the hill opposite was a large grave yard. The castle was impressive but there was something about it that made Hermione shiver. "Welcome Miss Granger to Snape manner."

Hermione mind was spinning. She was impressed by the castle but also scarred. "This place has been in my family for generations. I'm afraid there has been too many Dark wizards for this place to feel comfortable for anyone but still it is my home." "Why have you brought me here?" "This to me is one of the most darkest places in the world. I have seen many thing in this house that nobody should ever have to see. Yet I still come back." "Why." Severus eyes glanced at Hermione and then stared at the house/castle.

"This is why I continue to live. If I didn't the house would have controlled me. Hermione took at tentative step to Severus and placed her hand on his shoulder. Tears filled Severus's eyes but his refused to let them fall. "if I had refused to live then nobody would remember those that died in this house. Those people my farther raped and killed in front of me. Nobody would remember my mother jumping I front of my younger brother as one of dad's so called friend aimed the killing curse at him. Nobody would remember my brother who took his own life as he could no longer live with the guilt.

Severus body was shaking as he moved closer to the house. Hermione held back a bit but continued to Stare at severus mentally sending him silent messages of courage. " I think it is time Miss Granger t o return." His voice was void of all emotions as he turned to Hermione and pulled out the porkley once again.

The sky was completely dark as they arrived back at Hogwarts. Both moved slowly as they entered Severus turned to Hermione. " I think it best if you went to bed now miss Granger." Silently Hermione nodded and stared to make her way to Gryffindor tower. "Goodnight Hermione." The sound of his voice was so quiet that she could only just hear what he said. As she lay on her bed she whispherd "Good night Severus and thank you."

Authors note First of sorry for this chapter being so short im not sure if im going to continue this fic or not I got a mental block at the moment..


	10. romance in the air

Ok so I got over my writers block yeah.

Normal disclaimers apply and please read and review.

It had been nearly two weeks since Ginny's funeral. The school had returned to normal and the Newts had begun. Hermione had spent all of her time in the library studding. Harry had spent most of his time with her so he didn't fall into the total abyss of abandonment. Severus well he was in the back ground as usual watching over Hermione making sure she was safe and loved.

It had been a long day for Hermione as her charms NEWT was a lot harder than she expected. Deciding she needed some time to her self she went for a walk around the lake. The sun had started to set when she saw a figure before her.

"How have you been doing." Severus moved into view of Hermione and she noticed for once the potions Master wasn't in his usual school robes but black slacks and a white crisp shirt which was only half done up showing part of his upper torso. Hermione breathe caught in her throat as she stood looking at the potion Master. "I've been doing better Sir."

Severus smiled. "I'm glad Hermione. I noticed you haven't eaten today and was wondering if you would like to accompany me to dinner." Hermione couldn't help the smile she was giving him . "I would love to sir but the great hall finished dinner half an hour ago." "I wasn't talking about the great hall Hermione." Hermione blushed as severus moved closer. "I have tickets to see a show in muggle London and reservations at the Ritz." Hermione stood still. "Sir I couldn't, I mean that's far to expensive, I couldn't possibly pay for something like that." Severus laughed, and Hermione could have melted in to the sound.

"Hermione it is my treat. I wouldn't have even considered you paying. I know this year has been hard for you and I would like to give you something good. To remember in stead of all the bad." Hermione stood motionless as she looked into Severus eye's "Thank you." Severus smiled again "Do I take that as a yes." Hermione flung herself into his arms "YES."

"I though you might say that as I took the liberty of getting something for you. If you look in your room there is something on you bed for you to wear tonight I will meet you in an hour." With that severus swept into a low bow and kissed Herimone hand.

Hermione was quickly went to her room. Her thoughts were on Severus why was he doing this now. Why was he always there for her. Most important when did he get so hot! As she reached her bedroom she couldn't help but gasp at the long red v neck dress lying on the bed. The dress was plain but elegant and just Hermione's style.

An hour later Severus knocked on Hermione's door. As she walked out his breathe was caught in his throat "You look amazing Hermione." Hermione blushed at the compliment." "Thank you, you don't look bad yourself." With that Severus offered Hermione his arm. They walked quietly out of Hogwarts so Severus could apparte them to The Ritz.

The door where opened for them but the porter as they enter the Hotel. Soon they where seated and Hermione was in awe at her surrounding. "what you you like to drink Sir madame." "a bottle of your finest champagne." "Very good sir." And with that the waiter left. "Severus that will cost far to much." Once again Severus chuckled. "My dear you have see my house, you must surly know that it won't break my bank." Hermione blushed. "But still Severus it is too much, you needed do all this for me." "Know Hermione that is where you are wrong. For years I have watched you do selfless things for others. You deserve so much more and yet you have no one to look out for you. Six month ago I found out something I feared for most. That you would give up on life. Know I want to show you that life is to live. Especially for one so good as you."

Author note. Special thanks to all those who reviewed your all the greatest. Now I have a special plea I am writing a new fic where Hermione find out her mother is Athena and will be a cross over with Percy Jackson however I need a beta reader and someone that ican bounce ideas of if anybody out there is willing to do this I will be eternally grateful.


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